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Do It Afraid

 

Well, it’s day 1 of my trip and I already faced my first problems – negative thoughts.

Fear 1: My Belongings
I hastily laid all of things I thought I needed on my bed. This looks about right. I need everything here. I haven’t gone overboard at all. But why does it still look like so much… I dislike carrying heavy things so I’ve mastered the art of travelling light. However Colombia is a big country with varying temperatures so I don’t feel sure about what I carried. It feels too heavy and inappropriate, like I’m making rookie mistakes. I always do this. I say I want to challenge myself and forget just how hard the task is.

Fear 2: My Weight
I used to be fit. Then laziness and comfort eating became vices. I’ve tried so many times before to lose the weight but I’ve never seen change. I always stop before I see the changes. Now I’m here in Colombia wanting to go on multi day hikes. I haven’t even started yet but I feel like a failure already. Why attempt it – just head to the Caribbean and chill out. On the next trip, you can tackle the mountains.

Fear 3: first world problems
How am I going going to see all that I want to see of Colombia?! There’s too much to see, you might as well just hang out in Medellin and work there. Then head to Santa Marta for beach, then go home early. There’s no way you can see everything – and write blog posts on it all. Don’t even think about writing a book!

Fear 4: I’m a fraud
I have set the goals and all my apps are synced. The truth is, you’re gonna spend all your money and won’t have anything left to come back to in the UK. You’re gonna have to go back to retail. I’ve done a lot of pomodoros but I still think that I won’t be focused enough to get work done. Work –> clients/customers. More customers = less chance of returning to retail. There’s no shame in working in retail. You’re young, what makes you think you can launch out independently so prematurely? There are many entrepreneurs who still work whilst building their dream.

regret

Two things I’ve taught myself are:

  •  To continue even when I feel afraid
  • Not be afraid to look messy

By doing this, I’ve relieved myself from falling into the trap of perfection. As a meticulous person, I can’t afford a strength of mine to hinder me from making mistakes. That’s right, I want to make mistakes. Although mistakes are one of the most expensive ways to learn (emotionally, physically and time wise) the lessons learnt are never forgotten. And for that reason, I’m going to progress. The only way for me to know whether I will fail at something is to try it. And that way I won’t feel regret, and regret to me is a nightmare. So here’s to a great 3 month experiment.

drink

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